Parenting & My Solving Conflict Strategies

Parenting & My Solving Conflict Strategies

Solving Conflict, My Parenting Strategies

There is new research in solving conflict that is making me question some of my methods as a mom and ‘managing behaviours’ with my children.

Typically, I am the give your child 3 chances and then you are out.

Recently, my husband and I have been firmer with our two boys and things have improved a great deal. They are more compliant and listen the first time they are asked to clean up or do something else.

 

Parents, Choose Your Battles

There are times, I still give them two or three chances as I hate to have conflict. I also want to choose my power struggles with the kids.

Is it worth it and who is going to be more upset, me or them?

These questions allow me to choose my power struggles wisely; the last thing I want is to have numerous power struggles throughout the day.

 

New Thinking

The new solving conflict framework for childcare providers is to be more positive and supportive of children, they are viewed as competent, capable and confident learners; this I could not agree with more.

Children are capable of many things and I believe that part of this framework is important and valid. As a parent of children who attended

As a parent of children who attended childcare, I believe they should be viewed as competent and capable learners and be involved in their development.

However, my question is with respect to children’s behaviour – should we take a more positive approach?

Based on my 10 years of experience in childcare, I believe we need to have a balance.

A majority of the time we should guide children through the situations and facilitate how to solve the problem.

There are also other times when I believe as a mom that a time out or being sent to your room is warranted.

If my boys hit each other then they are sent for time out.

I feel that this situation needs to deliver a strong message that I do not tolerate violence of any kind.

At childcare or school, teachers are not allowed to use these methods.

I understand why they are not allowed. This poses a question of how do you deliver a message to the child that this is very wrong, it hurts, and can have major consequences.

Especially, with a preschool age child.

Children at this age are trying to find out where they fit in society, am I a leader or follower? How much power/control can I assert with this person and in their situation?

My questions and views are still not answered for myself.

I am still on the fence with some of these things.

As a parent I would love to hear from others or even childcare providers on their opinions. This may lead to a heated discussion, however, I value others’ perspectives.

 

For Now We Follow Our Gut & The Rules

For now, I will continue to do what I feel is right as a parent and as a supervisor of a childcare center.

I will follow the rules of the facility which focuses on “How Does Learning Happen?” and see what I find most effective, or take bites and pieces from each and put them together.

I think with learning more about HDLH and watching more videos and implementing it, I will find both my parental methods and the method of childcare are both valuable and worth putting together when handling tough situations with children.

Amy Gibson BCD, RECE

About Amy Gibson BCD, RECE

Amy, having earned a Bachelors Degree in Child Development, has been in the field of Early Childhood Education for the past 10 years. First working in an infant classroom, and then moving to JK, preschool and toddlers. Currently Amy works as a Supervisor of a childcare facility in York Region.

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