Parenting & My Solving Conflict Strategies

Parenting

Solving Conflict, My Parenting Strategies

There is new research in solving conflict that is making me question some of my methods as a mom and ‘managing behaviours’ with my children.

Typically, I am the give your child 3 chances and then you are out.

Recently, my husband and I have been firmer with our two boys and things have improved a great deal. They are more compliant and listen the first time they are asked to clean up or do something else.

Parents, Choose Your Battles

There are times, I still give them two or three chances as I hate to have conflict. I also want to choose my power struggles with the kids.

Is it worth it and who is going to be more upset, me or them?

These questions allow me to choose my power struggles wisely; the last thing I want is to have numerous power struggles throughout the day.

New Thinking

The new solving conflict framework for childcare providers is to be more positive and supportive of children, they are viewed as competent, capable and confident learners; this I could not agree with more.

Children are capable of many things and I believe that part of this framework is important and valid. As a parent of children who attended

As a parent of children who attended childcare, I believe they should be viewed as competent and capable learners and be involved in their development.

However, my question is with respect to children’s behaviour – should we take a more positive approach?

Based on my 10 years of experience in childcare, I believe we need to have a balance.

A majority of the time we should guide children through the situations and facilitate how to solve the problem.

There are also other times when I believe as a mom that a time out or being sent to your room is warranted.

If my boys hit each other then they are sent for time out.

I feel that this situation needs to deliver a strong message that I do not tolerate violence of any kind.

At childcare or school, teachers are not allowed to use these methods.

I understand why they are not allowed. This poses a question of how do you deliver a message to the child that this is very wrong, it hurts, and can have major consequences.

Especially, with a preschool age child.

Children at this age are trying to find out where they fit in society, am I a leader or follower? How much power/control can I assert with this person and in their situation?

My questions and views are still not answered for myself.

I am still on the fence with some of these things.

As a parent I would love to hear from others or even childcare providers on their opinions. This may lead to a heated discussion, however, I value others’ perspectives.

For Now We Follow Our Gut & The Rules

For now, I will continue to do what I feel is right as a parent and as a supervisor of a childcare center.

I will follow the rules of the facility which focuses on “How Does Learning Happen?” and see what I find most effective, or take bites and pieces from each and put them together.

I think with learning more about HDLH and watching more videos and implementing it, I will find both my parental methods and the method of childcare are both valuable and worth putting together when handling tough situations with children.

The general information provided on the Website is for informational purposes and is not medical advice.

Do NOT use this Website for medical emergencies.

If you have a medical emergency, call a physician or qualified healthcare provider, or CALL 911 immediately. Under no circumstances should you attempt self-treatment based on anything you have seen or read on this Website. Always seek the advice of your physician or other licensed and qualified health provider in your jurisdiction concerning any questions you may have regarding any information obtained from this Website and any medical condition you believe may be relevant to you or to someone else. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this Website.

Parenting & My Solving Conflict Strategies

Parenting

Our Kids Need To Log Off And Get Moving

Do your kids come home from school, drop their backpacks, and hit the sofa for hours of TV, computer, or video games? Do they spend weekends messaging friends or updating their social media platforms?

Shockingly, Canadian kids log an average of just under eight hours of screen time each day – more time each week than their parents spend at work says ParticipACTION, the national voice of physical activity and sport participation. Further, the organization confirms that only 5% of our children are active enough to meet the Canadian Physical Activity Guidelines, which recommend at least an hour of heart-pumping exercise or active play every day. You may think your kids are active enough, but the odds are stacked against it.

Excess screen time has been linked to obesity, declining physical, mental and emotional health, poor academic performance, behavioural issues, and less time for play. Can you imagine the boost to our children’s health if we substitute just an hour of screen time for active play every day?

Excess screen time has been linked to obesity, declining physical, mental and emotional health, poor academic performance, behavioural issues, and less time for play.

Encourage your kids to log off, head outdoors, and to enjoy more active play. Better yet, be an active role model and join them! These tips can help:

  • Help your kids understand the value of active play: exercise, a connection with nature, time with friends, feeling happier, increased energy, and an opportunity to try new activities;
  • Be a role model and limit your own screen time. Log off and give your kids your undivided attention;
  • Encourage a balance between homework and active time throughout the school year – even kids in high school need time to play;
  • Encourage your kids to invite friends over after school and on weekends for active outdoor play;
  • Remove TVs and computers from your child’s room – and have them power down all devices an hour or two before bed;
  • Watching TV? Be active at commercial breaks;
  • Let babysitters and teachers know you strive for a balance between screen time and active time and encourage them to do the same;
  • Advocate for more active breaks at school – some schools are allowing children to stand at their desks and are building physical activity into curriculum strands. The more our kids move, the better!

We struggle with screen time at our house too. Both my daughters (ages 13 and 16) have a tendency to turn to their devices the instant they find themselves with free time on their hands. Role modelling, stressing the importance of finding balance in life, helping my kids discover and pursue a variety of active interests, encouraging them to be their own transportation, and encouraging them to get together with friends, have all helped replace screen time with active time.
Is too much screen time a concern at your house?

How have you helped counter it?

Let us know your tips @DrDinaKulik and @Cate_Cameron.

Worried about playground safety? What to do when the weather is gross outside?

The general information provided on the Website is for informational purposes and is not medical advice.

Do NOT use this Website for medical emergencies.

If you have a medical emergency, call a physician or qualified healthcare provider, or CALL 911 immediately. Under no circumstances should you attempt self-treatment based on anything you have seen or read on this Website. Always seek the advice of your physician or other licensed and qualified health provider in your jurisdiction concerning any questions you may have regarding any information obtained from this Website and any medical condition you believe may be relevant to you or to someone else. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this Website.

Amy Gibson BCD, RECE

About Amy Gibson BCD, RECE

Amy, having earned a Bachelors Degree in Child Development, has been in the field of Early Childhood Education for the past 10 years. First working in an infant classroom, and then moving to JK, preschool and toddlers. Currently Amy works as a Supervisor of a childcare facility in York Region.

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