10 Alternatives When Time Out Doesn’t Work
Frustrated? Here’s 10 alternatives to time out when time out doesn’t work
As children grow and develop through the 5 domains (Social, Physical, Communicative, Adaptive and Cognitive) they master new milestones. With each stage, children are faced with challenges for the first time in their life. When these challenges are presented to children, the majority of the time they do not know how to deal with them.
The frustration that can happen when dealing with an unfamiliar problem, and being told “No” or that they cannot do something that they want to do, may cause them to act out – yelling, screaming, hitting, pushing, talking back, and throwing a temper tantrum. Most people use a time out to calm everyone down.
But what do you do when a time out doesn’t work?
This is a big controversial question to many people. Spanking your child, sending them to their room, putting them in the corner, and yelling at them are negative reinforcement techniques. If you believe in them, and they work for you, then continue to follow through with it. If they are not working for you, or you are interested in more positive reinforcement parenting, then here’s 10 alternatives to time out:
Sit with your child and engage in an activity. Your child is getting attention from you, which is probably the biggest reason for their upset. But this will also allow you to demonstrate how you want the child to act.
Wait 5 Seconds
Give your child an instruction and then wait. If she complies, then praise her. If she does not comply, repeat the instruction and wait 5 seconds again. If the child still does not comply, then give a logical consequence. If she does listen, then praise her.
Provide 2 Choices
“You can clean up your toys in 2 minutes, or you can clean up your toys now.” Sometimes making them a part of the decision helps a lot.
Set Ground Rules
Ensure children are clear about expectations. Allow them to make up the rules with you, this way they will be more likely to remember and comply with them.
Set Up a Visual Schedule
For younger kids, this will allow them to understand through pictures and know what to expect next.
Consider the Expectations
Set expectations that children can attain; ensure they have the skill set to meet them. Otherwise, you are setting your child up to fail and they will be frustrated.
Problem Solve Collaboratively
Gather information from your child about the situation, and help them work through the feelings and the problems so they don’t feel overwhelmed.
Focus on the positive and NOT the negative
An example would be: Don’t touch the hot stove, I told you not to touch it. Try this instead: See the hot stove; let me show you how it works and why we do not touch it when it is hot.
Be In Charge of Your Own Emotions
Especially when dealing with your child. Do not get angry; stop and breathe and tell yourself to be in charge of your emotions. Ask yourself: Do you want to me angry? Why are you angry?
Conflict is a Teachable Moment
When we associate non-compliance and disrespect, we form a link between children’s behaviour and your own capability.
Each child is unique and what works for my children may or may not work for your children. But by trying different techniques, you will be able to determine what works best for your child and your family and will hopefully ease your own frustration.
The most important thing to remember, however, is to follow through. If you tell your child to “stop throwing the ball in the house, or you will take the ball away,” you MUST follow through. If you do not, you are teaching your child that you are not in charge, they are.
Don’t worry. Your child will still love you. You still love your parents for teaching you about consequences, right?
The general information provided on the Website is for informational purposes and is not medical advice.
Do NOT use this Website for medical emergencies.
If you have a medical emergency, call a physician or qualified healthcare provider, or CALL 911 immediately. Under no circumstances should you attempt self-treatment based on anything you have seen or read on this Website. Always seek the advice of your physician or other licensed and qualified health provider in your jurisdiction concerning any questions you may have regarding any information obtained from this Website and any medical condition you believe may be relevant to you or to someone else. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this Website.
- Talking to Your Kids About Strangers and Staying Safe on Halloween - October 24, 2018
- Back To School – How to Prepare Young Children - August 28, 2018
- Frustrating Four’s - August 1, 2018
- The Importance of Play – Social Development In Children - February 26, 2018
- Is Your Baby Developing Normally? Check Our Baby Milestones Chart - February 13, 2018
- How Boys and Girls Learn Differently - February 2, 2018
- Social Development In Children – The Tricky Transition into Child Care - January 12, 2018
- Guide To Summer Fun With The Kids - July 30, 2017
- Fidget Spinners & ADHD – Helpful? - July 22, 2017
- Parenting & My Solving Conflict Strategies - July 15, 2017